Since the country has taken to writing discrimination directly into our constitution, I feel that I have a few things that I think should be added. I'm sorry if I offend anyone (not really) but I have been offended (GET over IT!) before and you're going to be just fine. (loser)
If you are married and divorced more than 2 times--there should be a constitutional amendment banning you from marrying again. If you can't get it right the second time, sucks to be you! (I mean--really, we've given you 2 shots already!)
If you are really ugly--there should be a constitutional amendment banning you from going outside of your house. (We shouldn't have to look at that. What would our children think?)
Any online dating service--there should be a constitutional ban on every site as this is eroding the sanctity of dating! (watch out folks, I believe the LDS church will probably back this one!)
Are these frivolous amendments? I don't think so. What amendments would YOU like to make? Come on now . . . you can post them anonymously if you'd like . . . . but do tell what rules of frivolity you'd like to make up. Seems to be the trend!
Does this post make me sound bitter and bitchy? Does it make my butt look big? No? Really?
15 comments:
Crap! Online dating service? I guess my marriage to Adam is a farce.
And your butt looks just fine.
Can I have an amendment passed that if you are going to put a mircowave by the vending machine that they also put a fridge right next to it with cookie dough and brownie batter in it?
I second your amendments and in addition there really needs to be one that would discriminate against stupid people, because really - we don't need them opening their mouths any more than they have to (ok, maybe just to breathe).
I cant' stop laughing--you ALL ROCK!
Can I have an amendment that allows me to fly-kick the people in the grocery store/mall/warehouse store/etc. that stop in the middle of an aisle (usually on their phone)and are are oblivious to any other human life around them? I'm sometimes so close to them trying to get around without disrupting them (I'm nice)that I'm pretty sure they can feel my breath on the back of their neck. Yet...no response.
Oh, and can I get another amendment that allows me to drop-kick their children who are messing with my cart, running in front of me, and screaming while they are on the phone? I'm going to say it.....my kid will never be allowed to do that (at least while I'm looking. :) )
And my last (but most important) amendment would be that veggies were fattening, and bakery goods melted fat. In fact, thinking about bakery good melts fat too. I need a donut.
Oh I like the Bakery Goods ammendment, but I'd add on the high carb food be a neccesary food in that whole LAME food pyramid thing. And chocolate should be a daily requirement!!
Your butt is fine, but don't take away online dating...it could be the only way this LDS could ever find a guy that doesn't bore me to tears...LOL!
Single people over 25 should be considered threats to traditional families and therefore be sterilized and/or institutionalized (cause clearly we aren't right if we can't find someone before that age) ;)
well, put me under house arrest, remove me from the dating pool, and schedule my sterilization procedure.....
and while you're at it, ammend the constitution to allow me the right to run over tourists without any points on my driver's license.
Oh and I beleive it is neccesary for al mankind, if we outlaw the MULLET. That is a scary dangerous hair..."style"...eww that hurt to say it...and I have no real style...it is just cut straight and kinda short! LOL!
Your butt doesn't look big, but does mine?? Seriously. I think I just might have a shelf butt. That's not normal.
I think there should be an amendment for not only stupid people AND their stupid kids, mullets, and carbs--- there also needs to be an amendment for cheese-ball people. You know the cheese-balls I'm talking about, right?? The ones that open their mouths and sugary-syrup pours out??
Yeah.
AMENDMENT please!
I seriously think there should be an amendment that any religion is not allowed to donate to campaigns and/or props.
AND, perhaps more importantly, jamie Lynn spears should be banned from marriage. Sure, she hasn't been married yet, but can't we just SEE that it'll be bad? I a SURE her baby will be raised better than a , GASP, gay couple!
Everybody is entitled to their opinions, but there's no need to be unkind. Being rude to people never made them want to do things differently.
oh Alex Dumas . . but it's done in fun, did you not read the disclaimer?
I really think it's sick that Prop 8 passed. Hopefully the ballots that haven't been counted yet sway it in a different direction.
But this post about a constitutional amendment reminds me of something that Melissa Ethridge just released.
http://perezhilton.com/2008-11-07-melissa-ethridge-shouldnt-have-to-pay-taxes
Hopefully you guys find it as funny (but completely true) as I did.
Hopefully one day discrimination will be a thing of the past.
OH, really love your blog btw!
An Amendment that bans people from marrying who are not intending on having children. That's what marriage is for, right? oh, and another for banning people from marrying who shouldn't have kids. Someone else must know what's better for the world than the individual, I believe. Some smart eugenicist out there is saying, hello to his or her career boom. I also agree with your amendment for people with 2 previous divorces.
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